How to Help Your Child Overcome Back to School Anxiety

The shift from summer freedom to school routines can feel big for kids—and for parents too. Maybe your child is suddenly mentioning school with a worried tone. Or maybe they’re having tummy aches that seem to appear out of nowhere.

Watching your child struggle with back-to-school anxiety can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone—and there are ways to help.

The good news? Back-to-school anxiety is completely normal, and with the right support, your child can feel calmer, more confident, and ready to enjoy the year ahead.

Understanding Back-to-School Anxiety

Back-to-school anxiety isn’t just “first-day jitters.” It’s your child’s nervous system responding to uncertainty—trying to keep them safe by staying on high alert. For kids, even simple things like finding the bathroom or remembering their school supplies can feel like big unknowns.

Common signs of school-related anxiety include:

• Stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause

• Trouble falling or staying asleep

• Increased clinginess or worry about separating from parents

• Mood changes, irritability, or emotional outbursts

• Loss of appetite or fatigue

• Repeatedly asking questions or expressing worry about school

  
  

This isn’t misbehavior—it’s your child’s body doing exactly what it’s designed to do: scan for safety.

What’s Driving the Worry?

At the Child Therapy Center of Los Angeles, we help parents understand that back-to-school anxiety often stems from three main sources:

• Separation concerns: Worry about leaving the safety of home and parents

• Social pressures: Concerns about making friends or fitting in

• Academic expectations: Fear of keeping up or meeting new challenges

When we address these root causes, rather than just trying to “make the worry go away,”

kids learn how to feel safe and regulated in new situations.

Preparing Your Child Before School Starts

A smoother transition begins before the first day of school. Here’s how to help:

1. Start the Conversation Early—Keep It Positive

Talk about school in concrete, curious terms. Instead of asking, “Are you nervous about school?” try, “What are you most curious about in your new classroom?” This shifts the focus to curiosity rather than fear.

Visit the school if possible—walk by the building, play on the playground, or attend an open house. Familiarity builds safety.

2. Involve Your Child in Preparing

Make back-to-school prep a shared experience. Let them pick their backpack, choose fun pencils, or help pack their lunchbox. Feeling involved gives kids a sense of control.

3. Ease Into School Routines

Two weeks before school starts, begin adjusting bedtimes, wake-ups, and mealtimes. A predictable rhythm helps their nervous system feel steady.

4. Share Your Own Experiences

Kids love knowing they’re not alone. Share stories about your own first-day worries when you were their age—and how you handled them. It helps normalize their feelings.

Supporting Emotional Regulation

Even with preparation, some kids will still feel anxious—and that’s okay. Regulation takes practice, and you can help by creating safety and modeling calm.

Body Awareness and Co-Regulation

Help your child notice how anxiety feels in their body: “Your tummy feels tight—does that mean you’re feeling worried?” Naming sensations gives kids tools to recognize their own signals.

Your calm nervous system is their best regulation tool. Slow your breathing, use a warm, steady voice, and offer gentle comfort: “This feels big right now, but I’m right here with you.”

Simple Relaxation Tools

• Breathing exercises:

  • For younger kids: “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” or belly breathing with a stuffed animal on their tummy.

  • For older kids: 4-7-8 breathing or box breathing.

• Mindfulness games: The “5-4-3-2-1” grounding game helps bring focus to the present moment.

• Positive self-talk: Help them practice phrases like, “I can handle new things” or “My teacher wants to help me learn.”

Social Practice Through Play

Role-play simple school interactions: asking to join a game, introducing themselves to new

classmates, or asking for help. Keep it light and fun.

Your Role as the Parent

Your child’s nervous system takes its cues from yours. If you’re feeling stressed about their anxiety, they’ll pick up on it. Taking care of yourself—getting rest, asking for help when needed, and practicing your own calming strategies—helps you be the steady presence they need.

And remember: the anticipation is often worse than the actual experience. Many kids who worry all summer feel much better once they’re in the classroom and meeting their teacher.

When to Seek Extra Support

Sometimes, kids need more help than parents can provide on their own. Consider reaching out for professional support if:

• Anxiety lasts more than a few weeks and interferes with daily life

• Your child refuses to go to school or shows extreme distress about attending

• Sleep or appetite changes persist

• They express hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm

At the Child Therapy Center of Los Angeles, we view anxiety as communication from the body—not something to “fix.” Our holistic approach uses neuroaffirming, body-based methods, including DIR Floortime, Child-Centered Play Therapy, sensorimotor psychotherapy, art therapy, and mindfulness, always adapted to your child’s unique nervous system.

Building a Foundation for Success

Just like we talk about with summer camp transitions, school success starts with a strong foundation.

Make sure the basics are in place:

• Quality sleep for steady energy

• Balanced nutrition for stable moods

• Safe relationships that build connection

• Outdoor time to regulate the nervous system

• Play and fun to process big feelings

When the foundation feels strong, kids can handle new challenges with more confidence.

Moving Forward With Confidence

Back-to-school anxiety doesn’t mean your child won’t thrive—it’s simply their body’s way of adjusting to change. By staying calm, validating their feelings, and giving them tools to feel safe, you’re helping them build skills they’ll use for a lifetime.

Focus on connection over perfection. Your child doesn’t need every worry erased—they need you to be present as they learn to navigate them. Celebrate small wins, whether it’s walking into the classroom with a smile or using their breathing when they feel nervous.

Take the Next Step

If you’re feeling unsure how to best support your child, you don’t have to do it alone. Book a Thriving Child Strategy Call today, and together we’ll create a personalized plan to help your child feel calm, confident, and ready to enjoy the school year.