Back-to-School Sleep Routines: Guide for Parents

If bedtime has started to feel like the hardest part of your day, you’re not alone. Many parents tell me evenings are when stress peaks and patience runs thin. The good news? With the right approach, bedtime can become a peaceful transition instead of a nightly battle.

As a child therapist who has worked with hundreds of families, I’ve seen firsthand how proper sleep can transform not just bedtime, but your child’s entire emotional landscape. Let me share what really works when it comes to creating sustainable sleep habits that support your child’s developing nervous system.

Sleep isn’t just about rest—it’s about giving your child’s brain the foundation it needs to regulate emotions, process experiences, and show up as their best self at school. When we take a brain-body approach to sleep, we’re not just addressing bedtime resistance; we’re building the groundwork for your child’s mental health and academic success.

Every child’s sleep needs are different, and what works for your neighbor’s kid might not work for yours. That’s because each child has a unique nervous system with its own patterns and preferences. Instead of forcing a one-size-fits-all approach, we need to understand what your child’s body is telling us about their sleep needs.

How Much Sleep Do Kids Really Need?

So where do you even start? One of the simplest ways to reduce bedtime stress is by knowing how much sleep your child’s body actually needs.

Children’s sleep requirements change as they grow, and understanding these shifts helps create realistic expectations:

• Preschoolers (3–5 years): 10–13 hours, including naps

• School-age kids (6–12 years): 9–11 hours

• Teens (13–18 years): 8–10 hours, with natural cycles shifting later

These are guidelines, not rigid rules. Some children are naturally early risers, while others are night owls. Some kids need more sleep to stay regulated; others function fairly well with a little less.

The most important measure isn’t the clock—it’s your child’s functioning. A child who falls asleep at 9 PM and wakes refreshed at 7 AM is well-rested, even if their bedtime doesn’t match what other families do.

Notice the times your child seems most at ease. Could their natural rhythms give you clues about the best bedtime?

Creating Bedtime Routines That Actually Work

Once you have a sense of your child’s natural rhythms, the next step is shaping the routine around them—because it’s the routine that teaches the body, “now it’s time to rest.” Think of it like a dimmer switch, not an on/off light.

The key isn’t complexity—it’s consistency and connection. Your child’s nervous system craves predictability, especially after long school days filled with sensory and social demands.

• Start early: Begin winding down 60–90 minutes before bedtime.

• Signal sleep: Dim the lights, lower household volume, or play soft music to mark the transition.

• Match sensory needs: Some children relax with a warm bath; others settle with cozy pressure from a weighted blanket, stretching, or “heavy work” activities like carrying laundry baskets. If you notice your child responds especially well to this type of input, an occupational therapist can help tailor sensory strategies.

• Build connection: Reading together, sharing highlights from the day, or lying beside your child for a few minutes creates the sense of safety their nervous system needs to release into sleep.

  
  

This isn’t spoiling—it’s co-regulation, one of the most effective sleep strategies available to parents.

Why Kids Resist Sleep (and What to Do)

Even with the best routines, bedtime can still get rocky. If your evenings feel like a tug-of-war, you’re not alone. Here’s what’s usually happening under the surface.

Sleep struggles are often nervous system issues, not defiance.

• Anxiety: Acknowledge nighttime worries without minimizing them. Try: “I notice your body feels worried about going to sleep. That makes sense—nighttime can feel different.” Pair this with comfort tools like a stuffed animal, nightlight, or your recorded voice.

• Transitions: Sleep regressions often happen during big changes like starting school or moving classrooms. Offer extra reassurance and flexibility rather than stricter rules—sleep usually improves once routines stabilize.

• Overstimulation: Too much screen time, late-night sports, or intense social activity can leave kids “wired.” If evenings feel chaotic, experiment with gentler activities like drawing, puzzles, or quiet play.

  
  

The Brain-Body Connection in Sleep

These nightly challenges make more sense when we look at the bigger picture: sleep isn’t just about the mind or the body—it’s the dance between both.

At bedtime, kids need to shift from the sympathetic nervous system (alert/active) into the parasympathetic system (rest/digest). This transition doesn’t always happen naturally—especially for sensitive kids or those with racing thoughts.

• Heavy work or calming input: Some children settle better after wall push-ups or carrying something heavy; others respond to soft music, massage, or weighted blankets. Every child’s sensory system is unique, and an OT can help fine-tune what works best.

• Temperature cues: A cooler room (65–70°F) and warm baths scheduled earlier in the evening can support the body’s natural temperature drop that signals readiness for sleep.

  
  

Think back to last night—what seemed to calm your child most? That’s your nervous system clue.

How Daily Rhythms Shape Sleep

And bedtime isn’t just about what happens at night. The choices your child makes throughout the day—what they eat, how they move, how much stimulation they take in—can set the stage for either ease or struggle.

• Meals: In general, lighter dinners and avoiding caffeine (including chocolate) in the afternoon/evening help kids rest easier. Heavy meals right before bed may leave their bodies working hard on digestion instead of sleep. For detailed nutrition support, consult your pediatrician or a nutrition professional.

• Nutrient-rich foods: Some families notice that foods like turkey, bananas, oats, or warm milk (which naturally contain sleep-supportive nutrients like tryptophan or magnesium) help evenings feel calmer. Think of these as gentle options to experiment with—never a prescription.

• Movement: Physical activity during the day supports natural tiredness. But if bedtime feels harder after late practices or high-energy play, balance evenings with gentler movement like yoga, stretching, or a short family walk.

• Snacks: Some kids wake up hungry. A light, steady snack (like toast with nut butter, oatmeal, or a banana) can sometimes help. Keep it simple and avoid sugary options that spike energy levels.

  
  

Designing a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Alongside daily rhythms, the environment plays a huge role. Think of the bedroom as your child’s cocoon: it should send every signal that it’s safe to rest.

A calming bedroom environment sends powerful cues to your child’s nervous system:

• Sound: White noise or fans can mask disruptive sounds; other kids prefer silence.

• Light: Blackout curtains may help some children, while others feel safer with a soft nightlight.

• Clutter-free: Too many toys or screens in the bedroom can keep the brain activated.

• Safety cues: Photos of family, a special blanket, or your recorded voice can reassure anxious sleepers.

  
  

When to Seek Professional Support

Most sleep bumps are temporary, but sometimes persistent struggles are your child’s way of waving a red flag. Here’s when to look deeper.

Seek support if your child:

• Has persistent nightmares or night terrors

• Wakes frequently and seems unrested

• Snores loudly or has pauses in breathing

• Shows daytime behavior or learning changes tied to poor sleep

  
  

At Child Therapy Center, we use a brain-body approach to explore what your child’s nervous system needs to feel safe enough to rest. Sometimes this means addressing anxiety, processing big transitions, or working with other professionals for sensory or medical needs.

Building Long-Term Sleep Success

And finally, remember that sleep isn’t a one-and-done skill. It’s a rhythm that changes as your child grows, and the real goal is learning how to flex with them.

Healthy sleep isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency and responsiveness.

• You are the co-regulator: Your calm presence helps your child’s nervous system settle.

• Stay flexible: A bedtime routine that works at 6 might need adjusting at 8.

• Keep asking: “What does my child’s nervous system need right now?”

  
  

You’re already doing so much to support your child, and even small changes can make a big difference. If you’d like support tailoring these ideas to your family, we’d love to help.

At Child Therapy Center of Los Angeles, we believe sleep is one of the most powerful foundations for a child’s emotional and academic success.

Ready to make bedtime calmer? Book a Thriving-Child Strategy Call today to discover what your child’s sleep challenges are really about—and how to address them in a way that honors their individual needs.